“LIBERTY”

( inspired by one of his dreams)

As the flickering gleam of the stars declare the onset of night’s dark curtain descending upon the sky, I find myself amidst a garden of heavenly designed beauty and the pleasant fragrances of jasmine that are gently floating through the air, filling my nostrils with every breath.

Standing near a stream of crystalline brilliance, which appears as pure as tears flowing from nature’s eyes, I see a beautiful maiden in an angelic-white raiment gazing faithfully at the moon and speaking softly to herself.

Slowly I move to approach her, ever wondering who she may be… but, as I near her presence, I begin to see how the sorrowful expression of her delicate face was that of one imprisoned by sadness.

“Who are you?” My saddened heart inquired, as I stood before this ghostly beauty, seeking to know her pain, so that I may shoulder it as my own. However, the grief, which clutched her voice, forbade her to speak, for she merely stared at me with some mute understanding of my existence, yet I understood not.

Again, as if pouring forth the depths of my soul, seeking Eternal Truth, I beseeched, “What is your name?” Moreover, again, silence was the reply that escaped her lips but suddenly an elevated sense of understanding filled every fiber of my being, as I realized in awe that she was the Savior of the captive and oppressed…

But, as I reached out to place my own personal shackles upon her hands, she unexpectedly disappeared from my faculty of sight, like a sigh into the wind, and in a weakened voice, that spoke of untold ages of injustice, I heard an utterance that reverberated throughout the garden, saying……..

“My name is Liberty!”

So, what was this catastrophe that would apex all of life misery?

In four words, ‘guilty of capital murder’! As I stood there stunned by the verdict, unable to walk, those words were reverberating in my mind. I could not believe that this could possibly be happening to my son and our family. We had already endured a year and a half of torment, not only from the media but the families of the victims. We had been smeared in the newspaper and all the TV/radio news. On every news cast the horror that occurred that nightmarish weekend would be recounted over and over. I would see my child’s picture day after day on the TV screen comparing him to Charles Manson and portraying him as a monster! I contributed the cruelty against my family and our pets, to the undeniable grief of the families but it continued for years. I can’t imagine the pain they were undergoing since their loss, but I was becoming resentful of the abuse my 10 year old son and I were forced to encounter almost daily.

In my naivety, I believed that it would all be over when the verdict was read. After all, they can’t find someone guilty if they were not present at the scene of the crime. Yet, he was found guilty of the beating and drowning death of 2 boys (one being his best friend) while he was passed out from alcohol approximately 15 miles away. It only took the jury 90 minutes (including lunch break) to determine the fate and future of my son Christopher. The most uncomplicated decisions in our lives take longer than 90 minutes, yet they were able to determine the rest of his life in 30 minutes of actual deliberation.

I honestly believe that I was in shock for approximately 9 months. I worked and went back to all that was normally expected. After all, I had a younger son to care for. Then one day I began crying and it would not end. Everything about our lives had changed. I had to move to escape the malice and had to quit my job. I became consumed or as my daughter told me “obsessed” with the injustice toward Christopher and it occupied my mind incessantly. I had only 1 friend and 1 family member remaining by our side. Everyone else had distanced themselves from us afraid they may reap the fallout of the harsh publicity. I felt so alone, crushed by a system that I had faith would see the truth and send my son home.

To this day, I am the only one that visits Christopher. My Mom will be 90 years old in October and cannot make the 8 hour round trip to Atmore. I have been driving this 500 mile trek alone for 16 years, I am all he has to cling to. I am the solitary humankind in his life that provides him hope to persevere and keep him emotionally connected to the world outside prison. His belief in God is his strength and faith he will one day come home.

At this juncture, 16 years later, only two aspects have changed. 1. We are both older; Christopher is no longer a child but a 33 year old man and I am becoming a senior citizen. 2. We are not alone! Of course, making the discovery of over 2,000 families thrust in the bowels of the same sinking ship is not a reason to rejoice. This fact simply emphasizes that our justice system is not only dysfunctional in Alabama but all over the United States. We have become a nation of spite and retaliation and have lost our sense of empathy to apathy.

When the United States ceased to protect the children and launched an attack on youth in the early 90’s, we as a nation began destroying our actual future. We began making the statement that children are disposable and can’t be salvaged. If that statement were true my parents, as well as countless others, would have disposed of their rebellious teenagers; but they didn’t and we grew up to become responsible adults. I perceive at age 16 I was not cognizant of the repercussions of my instantaneous decisions. A friend would suggest we get involved in an activity and I would join in without a thought. Then later the consequences would be perfectly illustrated to me, by my parents, why I shouldn’t have participated! That is how the child mind develops and learns the penalty of life. These penalties and consequences are taught to us during our developmental years by our elders. We in turn learn by our mistakes and realize there are repercussions to our negative behavior.

But, in society today, when children make mistakes the consequences are final. There is no margin for error and their life is abruptly ended. No one makes the effort to examine the cause and effect of why a child commits acts of violence? There have been women forgiven for acts of murder due to battered wife syndrome. Is a child more culpable than an adult when enduring years of abuse? Why does mercy stop with a child that has committed a crime? When determining the fate of a child, the answer is not simply black and white but large areas of gray should be incorporated into the dynamics of this decision.

Just as victims need closure, we do, too! Our families are suffering also and need to know an end is in sight of the nightmare, we can never awaken, called “life without parole”.